Two Years Later-Idol Gives Back

I used to be a big "Idol" fan, as recently as a year ago. I haven't had single moment to watch it this year nor do I know who the contestants are. I did however: turn it on tonight just in time to hear Carrie Underwood say she is donating to an organization that is not on my list of respected ones.
You can read about it here:http://www.law.harvard.edu/faculty/bartholet/Save_the_Children2.pdf
Odd, two years ago my husband was dead set against adoption. We had gone the gamut of fertility treatments, paid our dues in that respect. I had worked to earn money to pay for the procedures etc. The whole time I was going through this I had no desire to be pregnant again only to have another child if that makes sense. I wanted to care for the children the church had forgotten---the world had forgotten, my husband, while I wouldn't say he did not want to care was more cautious. I throw caution to the wind when it comes to serving children or adults in need. I have been burned enough to know when to say when and when true help is needed.
Two years ago during "Idol Gives Back" I stormed off to bed saying something like "See. we have room, love, time, etc. We could take in children/people in need. Why can't we adopt?" I was angry! Tonight I am angry all over again.
Two years ago instead of agreeing to adopt my husband and two biological children stayed up and chose to sponsor a little girl from Compassion International. Her name is Westerlineda. We still do not know if she survived the earthquake. We have letters and pictures from her before the quake hit.
As you all know from reading previous posts God did change my husband's heart. We applied to adopt Lydia and Leo from Liberia, West Africa. Here is where it gets TOUGH! I was fine yesterday. Really. Tonight, not so much. you see last night we got the news that adoptions will probably shut down for good. My desire to parent my children will probably never happen. We have poured our hearts into this not to mention thousands of dollars---not just our money but others as well. We are going to Liberia in June. What do I say or not say to my precious children? What can I say? I could say your government says they desire to help you find a permanent home but in reality would rather send you back to an institution! The government of Liberia is not doing a thing to help these children. I am ANGRY. I have hit the roof angry! I will keep praying. I will keep believing. I will keep telling people about Unicef and Save the Children.
In the meantime, I am doing something I said I would never do. I am caring for three foster children. My parents did it when I was younger and I loathed it because it took away from "my" time. Bottom line, I was selfish! So when you say no---God may say "YES" and when you say "yes" God may say "no"
Who knows where I will be in two years. Maybe I will be watching "Idol Gives Back" with 10 more children...In two years a lot can happen!
Ami