A Precious Letter

I wanted to post this letter from a dear friend, a dear friend whom I have prayed for and cried with. We have never physically met. I first heard of her back in October when my husband and I went to "Together for Adoption" in Nashville. At a restaurant after the last session we met up with some friends to eat. I sat next to my friend Leslie's friend Joy. I told Joy we were adopting from Liberia--two children. That quickly turned into a conversation about her friend Anouk. I started praying for her and her husband that day. Her story is heartbreaking and yet redeeming.
Without further adieu, here is the most precious letter and advice I have ever gotten. I have been loved by God through someone I don't even know.
Thank you!
To read more about Anouk's story click here:
http://www.youbelong.net/pages/htmlos/99185.1.878622778210412081/thescotts


Ami,
I'm sorry I haven't written earlier than now. My dear friend that I've never met, I wish I could give you a big hug and cry with you. I've been thinking about you and other "Liberian adopting" parents a lot lately. Reading the blogs has broken my heart. I don't even know what to say except to say what you already know: God is in control, even of the Liberian government.

The hard thing is that we both know that God is in control . . . that's not the issue. We also know that God can work miracles beyond what we can imagine . . . that's also not the issue. The issue is that we don't know if He will choose to do miracles in these adoptions . . . or just in our hearts. I'm praying for you. Praying that God would give comfort. Praying that He will guide and uphold you in this "I don't know" time. I can share what He gave me as I struggled with the loss of the boys.

But God, I love them!
"Child, I love them even more. I am a Father to the fatherless."

I had plans for them God!
"I know the plans I have for you/them. Plans for good and not for evil."

But God, now they won't get to hear about you.
"How do you know that? Am I limited to you to have them learn about me? You believe that I can work miracles in the heart of the leaders of the government of Liberia without your help, but not in the heart of these children?"

God, I don't understand, but I KNOW! (that was my mantra . . . I would say that over and over, then would quote scripture of what I did know. i.e. - I don't understand, but I know that You are good, etc)

Dear Ami, I'm sorry for the prolonged struggle you're going through. Reading the multiple blogs has made me thankful for our "early loss," but has made my heart break for all the emotions you all must be going through. Thank you Ami for loving others through this struggle, for your example of love as you foster care. You are a much stronger woman to be going to Liberia to see Leo and Lydia. Knowing the possibility of it not working out would keep me away for everyone's sake.

Ami, I'm hesitant to share this with you because I don't want to seem cold or uncaring. But it is something our pastor shared with us back in the fall which really helped us a lot (even before we officially "lost" them). He reminded us that children are resilient, that God has created them that way. He told us that if he and his wife were to die tomorrow, his 9 year old daughter and 3 year old son would go live with relatives. They would miss their parents a lot, especially at first, but the Lord would given them resilience to adapt to their new situation. He said that the 3 year old would recover more quickly because he had less memories with his parents. He said the 9 year old would have a harder time, but that she also would be OK after time. Then he reminded us that this was the situation with his 2 children (both adopted from birth, by the way) who have been in the home and "attached" to them all these years. He kindly reminded us that the boys in Liberia only had an "idea" of us as their family, that we were much more attached to them than they were to us. God would help them. This was a comfort to me as I had visions of these poor boys being "abandoned" twice and growing bitter . . . I'd forgotten Who was truly in control and Who loved them more than I did.

I know our situation is different than yours. I know that Leo is older and is writing you asking when you're coming. But I also know that should the time come that this comes to an end and you do not get to bring them home, God is still a God of miracles, and the miracle can be in Leo and Lydia's heart as well as in yours. He is in control of the Liberian government and He can take this situation and make it beautiful, even if we don't see it. Leo and Lydia will always know you loved them but that God chose to have the government do what they did.

Ami, as I type this, it all seems so clichéd, but please know that it is out of a heart of love and care. I just wanted to share what God used in our lives to help us. I pray that God would make all things clear to you very soon, or that He gives you and your family an extra, extra measure of grace. And that He works His wonders in the lives of Leo and Lydia.

I love you, my sister. I hope one day we can meet on this earth - but if not, then we will meet in heaven. I am praying for you.

Love,
Anouk