All At Once (one more time)

Sorry if this is a repeat for some of you. It was supposed to go live last night at midnight. It ended up being posted as the second post down...So, I am re-posting it.Please continue to pray. My foster daughter called last night begging me to come and bring her "home" back to us. The word "pain" cannot begin to describe this feeling.
What is written below was written Saturday.

How can it be possible to be happy and sad, mournful, regretful, and full of hope all at one time? Emotions, I know they are a "gift" from God. Some would say don't trust them. Aren't we ONLY supposed to trust God? Yes. But didn't HE create me with these emotions. Yup! Having a very hard time right now but trying to have faith. I am afraid of the next thing. The next phase. I don't know what that is. I used to say "I always get what I want" Now I say "whatever will be will be"
Isn't that the truth?
It's getting down to the wire. Just the three of us. How can that be?
I guess I am feeling a little melancholy after watching "Toy Story Three" today with my four children and hubby. I was missing my "college boy" and remembering the Buzz Light Year and Woody he played and played with. He couldn't say "Buzz Light-year" when we went to the Disney parade when he was five. He saw "Buzz Light Year" and he started screaming: "Buzz Year Light" over and over again! I won't give the movie away. To say I cried through the whole thing would be lieing, I balled. Yah, the kind of gut wrenching sobs that only a mom can know...Oh How I Miss those days. They were hard but I would give my life to have one day back with Johnny and Rachel. Just the three of us. Together again, just one more time. To tuck my son in bed, pray with him. Hug and kiss him, tell him good-night. It is not to be. He's 19. It all goes too fast, We have two children waiting to come home to us. I pray with all my heart they will get to come home to be with us, their mom and dad. I know God put us in their life. I long to hold them, laugh and cry with them. Until then we will enjoy Rachel and the others in our life.
My two biological children and I just watched Adrian pull out of the driveway with our foster children. They are moving to a new home tonight. My heart is ripping, yet I know this is what was supposed to happen. I am trusting the Lord with ALL of this. He is so Kind and Faithful.
Blessings
Ami
ps Funny how life is. I found my sons' Woody doll today as I was cleaning up my room. I dusted him off and now he has prominent place in my room.